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      words I didn't know were dustpan, wax, set, cotton swab.
      I helped my homestay mom clean up the house and wrap gifts for her grandchildren this morning.
      I was simple and had been afraid of Christmas Day until the day was coming but today was a pleasant day even if I stayed with my homestay family, and not with my friends.
      I can't do anything and will never feel comfortable unless I don't have control over myself.
      Try to express how I feel without restraint, not to be afraid of what others think of me and to give my ideas or opinions and exchange them with others.
      Do I need to figure out what it is wrong with me?
      Or do I need to stop thinking about me always?


      mists * - * 09:15 * comments(0) * trackbacks(0) * -

      thinking of something

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        It's about time I stop shunning making important decisions about my life. Please always choose a tough one and don't let my future stay vague.
        I and my friends talked about what kind of jobs we want to get seriously. One of my friends has a clear dream but except her, we don't have any clear choices.
        We haven't made our mind yet what to do in our future and are afraid of the time to job hunting. It's not in the distant future.
        That girl who has a clear dream speaks English really fluently like a native English speaker. Opposite to her, We are terrible speakers. I sometimes really respect her because try as I may, I can't catch up with her.
        Even in Japanese, I don't speak so much and I'm always a listener so in order to practice speaking English, I have to change my personality.
        However, if my speaking is still poor because of my personality, why is my listening still poor, too? According to my guess, I should much improve in speaking English but I'm not.

        I gotta go to bed. I'll get up at about 7 am tomorrow.
        I try not to hang out with my Japanese friends as much as I can. I need to keep away from Japanese.
        mists * - * 12:58 * comments(0) * trackbacks(0) * -

        Let me flow

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          Everything comes only once in the life.
          If you decide something even if it's a small thing in your life, your life will change direction slowly but surely.
          I don't want to feel jealous of somebody's talent and position.
          I want to be natural with everybody consistently.
          I want to do something, but not everything actively.
          I'm mixed up about my near future.

          I was alone in my homestay watching "confession of a shopaholic" yesterday.
          I'm at the library alone watching the same movie now.
          It's two days before Christmas today.
          I'm twenty so I shouldn't ask what to do now and next.

          A silly idea that I use money for clothing or something instead for groceries struck me.
          I don't need to get serious about such a idea because I think most girls have struck on the idea.
          mists * - * 11:54 * comments(0) * trackbacks(0) * -

          Luggage

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            Too many things I want.
            I found another one I want on Topshop oneline.



            I came to the States from Japan with only one luggage.
            My things are now too many to be packed in the luggage so I'm sure I will need one more luggage someday. In that time, I have found it and It's so cute one I've ever found.  I know apparently I should get real.

            I moved into my new homestay yesterday.
            My former homestay was with all meals but my now homestay is with no meals so I have to buy groceries and cook by myself.
            The reason why I chose a homestay with no meals is that I want to eat dinner which I want to eat in my own good time and I'm just getting tired of American food.
            I found a life that I don't need to have dinner with homestay family soo easier for me but sometimes I feel like I live alone.
            Anyway, I have to record how much money I spend for food.
            I bought grapes, oranges, cereals, instant noodles and milk so far as I can remember. These might cost about 18 dollars in all.

            It's Dec 21st today.
            I'll budget 250 dollars a month for food from Dec 21st to Jan 21st.
            mists * - * 12:01 * comments(0) * trackbacks(0) * -

            sugary

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              If I were younger, I had more choices in my life.
              I chose to study English in the women university without serious thought and then what do I really want to do with my life?
              My money is limited.
              My life is limited, too but that is not miserable only when I think about my life seriously.
              I don't have to forget that I try to save small money but while my parents have spent big money for my education.
              I don't know if my choice is wrong.
              I still don't clear my mind.
              Some of my friends in the States are doctors.
              Some are teachers.
              Some are going to be in the University in the States.
              All at once, I get disturbed by people who look promising.
              I can't answer what I am here studying English for and What I want to do in my future.
              I have no desire about everything.
              I realized that I'm boring and not worth.
              I just get mixed up.
              mists * - * 10:24 * comments(0) * trackbacks(0) * -

              needs for traveling

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                I like to plan on traveling before leaving for destination. For some people including me, the process of a travel planning could be more pleasant than real travel. Through researching tips for traveling on the Internet, we can find interesting information and photographs of countries where we want to go and eventually feel like I've been there. I think it is a good idea to decide a country after taking a virtual trip, especially for a person who choose to go abroad alone but  is not used to traveling. Of course, well-traveled people feel new by going to foreign countries without much information. If I could enjoy thrill in a risky situation, it was a best choice to go abroad with minimum necessary information. However I need much information about destination as detailed as possible because unless that, I must always feel restless during a whole trip.
                First, I need to decide where to go and then how to go, what to do, who to go with and what to bring. An advance planning is essential for travel and it makes travelings more interesting. I like to check cheaper, but better accommodations. Not only a good price but also a good location are needed. It doesn't matter if these accommodations are a hotel or not. I mean hostels are welcoming for me.

                After going back to Japan, I'll definitely go to Korea and China but a country I want to go the most is Morocco. I want to go Morocco to camp in the desert.
                In my America life, I make up everyday and talk about someone's boyfriend in Japanese. I don't hate such a lifestyle but I don't think it suits me very much. I used to hate these who make up everyday and are always in fashion but now look like I try to be one of the girls. I think I need some changes now even if I cannot to give up being a Topshop lover.
                mists * - * 01:24 * comments(0) * trackbacks(0) * -

                what I bought today and..

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                  I bought Dior Addict Lip Maximizer, an eyelash curler and Christmas gifts for my friends.
                  These cost more than a hundred dollars.
                  plus I bought groceries, like grapes and yogurt.
                  I don't remember how much money I have spent in the States until today.

                  I'm getting tired of writing my blog in English.
                  My blog was my only one oasis before but now...
                  by the way, my schedule is unusually tight tomorrow.
                  I'm moving into new homestay tomorrow morning.
                  I didn't prepare for moving out of my now homestay so I'm packing my things hurriedly.
                  Tomorrow afternoon, I'm going to a Christmas party which is held in a exclusive restaurant.
                  It means dressing nicely is needed.
                  In other words, It's going to be a really troublesome party for me.
                  I may have only two hours to take a rest after moving and be ready for the party.
                  I actually don't want to go to the party now.


                  mists * - * 14:22 * comments(0) * trackbacks(0) * -

                  cosmetics and clothing...

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                    It's around 11 pm.
                    I skipped my last writing class two days ago.
                    I really didn't like my classmates and teacher of this class
                    because all students of my writing class except a Turkish guy, a Colombia guy and me were Chinese
                    and they talked in the class in Chinese.
                    Moreover the teacher allowed them to talk in Chinese in the class.
                    I have no words to say.
                    That's not all happening in the class but I'll forget.

                    I was just checking out clothing new in on Topshop online and found nice one.



                    It looks lovely!
                    but I spent over a hundred dollars buying cosmetics today..
                    I need to save money on cosmetics and clothing.



                    mists * - * 13:21 * comments(0) * trackbacks(0) * -

                    two weeks off

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                      I'm at the library using a computer now.
                      Some of my friends are going back to Japan in four days.
                      I feel like going back together and sleeping in my bed in my room in Japan.
                      Incidentally, I'm going back to Japan on February 26th.

                      topshop

                      I bought Topshop clothing for Christmas party online yesterday.
                      It cost about seventy dollars in all.
                      After coming to the United States, I have spent much money shopping in Topshop.
                      I really love Topshop!
                      but the money I spent on Topshop clothing is too much!
                      Plus, I have many events that I can spend much more more money during the Christmas break.
                      I still have to buy Christmas gifts and cards for my friends and
                      the restaurant where Christmas party be held this weekend is exclusive.
                      I want to go to New York on new year's eve.
                      I want to go to Chicago or Florida too.........
                      I think I need more money.
                      mists * - * 05:08 * comments(0) * trackbacks(0) * -

                      now or never

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                        About four months have passed since I came to the United States.
                        I feel these four months flashed by.
                        Truthfully, I have hung out with only my Japanese friends everyday and haven't tried to get a chance to speak English energetically so my English is still very poor.
                        I have about two months left before I go back to Japan now.
                        I think I should work hard to speak and study English...

                        so I decided I'll try to write a diary in English everyday without exception.
                        Even one word is enough.
                        what important to me is keeping writing a diary in English.
                        but first I have to try not to watch Japanese tv shows on Youtube haha

                        I wanted to sleep earlier, like before 12 am tonight because I have a big test tomorrow.
                        but now it's already past twelve am.
                        I have to be up at seven fifteen.
                        It's not so early but I wanted to have more sleep.

                        lastly, I feel sure a lot of mistakes are in the diary.
                        but never mind and I'd love to try to correct by myself.

                        mists * - * 13:30 * comments(0) * trackbacks(0) * -
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